SUCCESS IS PERSONAL

 

Success Is Personal: How I Learnt to Redefine Winning After Losing Everything

Storytime...

Three years ago, I found myself sitting on the cold floor of my one-bedroom apartment, staring at an empty fridge and a maxed-out credit card statement. I had just lost my job - one I’d wrapped my entire identity around. I had no savings, no backup plan, and no idea what came next.

From the outside, it looked like I’d failed. To be honest, it felt like I had.

I scrolled through Instagram that night, numb, watching peers post photos from rooftop bars and international retreats with captions like, “Work hard, play harder.” I was working hard just to keep the lights on.

But somewhere in the haze of comparison and self-pity, a quiet thought nudged me:
What if success isn’t what it looks like — but what it feels like?

The Problem With Borrowed Definitions

We live in a world that sells us a shiny version of success: titles, followers, travel, passive income, and aesthetic breakfasts. And when life doesn’t mirror that, we think we’ve failed.

But what if the real failure is measuring your worth with someone else’s ruler?

I started journaling - not about goals, but about what made me feel alive. It wasn’t the job I’d lost. It was the mornings I used to spend writing before work, the people I mentored quietly without credit, the way I once turned a studio apartment into a sanctuary on a shoestring budget.

That was my success: being resourceful, creative, generous - even when no one was watching.

Rebuilding on a Personal Definition

Instead of chasing another job title, I took on freelance gigs that gave me time to write. I prioritized mental health. I got intentional about what I consumed - food, media, conversations. For the first time, I wasn’t climbing a ladder. I was building a life.

Setbacks started feeling different. They didn’t destroy me - they redirected me. Because I was no longer chasing a moving target. I was following something rooted in who I am.

And slowly, my definition of success evolved:

• Having time to walk every morning without checking my phone.

• Earning enough to pay bills and fund my creativity.

• Saying no to anything that costs me peace.

• Choosing rest without guilt.

The Lesson: Make It Yours

Success is personal. It’s not what trends, impresses, or outshines. It’s what sustains you. What energizes you. What matters to you - even if it looks simple from the outside.

When you define success for yourself, setbacks lose their power to define you. They become part of your story - not the end of it.

So the next time life knocks you down, don’t ask, “Why me?”
Ask, “What does success look like - to me, right now?”
That question saved my life. Maybe it can change yours, too.

Action Plan

Take five minutes today and write down what success means to you. Not to your parents. Not to your social feed. Not to your industry. Just you. Then ask yourself - are your choices aligned with that?

Because success isn’t out there.
It starts with you.